The honest truth

How do I begin…

Well… I am an Korean-American woman in her early twenties. I am a graduate student, working towards a Master’s degree. I am engaged to an amazing man who I could never imagine living without. I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have severe depression, anxiety, panic disorder, and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

I like morbid and macabre things. I like pretty things. I love makeup and skincare and could probably talk about it for hours. The process of putting on makeup or taking care of my skin soothes me and I am always looking for new things to try and new favorites. I like to read fantasy novels and listen to podcasts. I love animals. I am ambitious and driven but I understand the realities of who I am.

My world isn’t tinted with rose-colored glass but rather the smokey grey tendrils of a candle blown out in the night under London’s grey sky.

 

Knowing all this, let me share with you things on my plate. I am trying to plan an engagement party and a wedding while also preparing to move to Portland, Oregon in the next few months. I would say that I have things under control but I’d be lying and my frantic squid flails would be the proof of that. How does anyone get anything done?

I stare at a million items on my to-do lists and just am exhausted from even imagining all the work that needs to be done. On top of that I am doing my master’s degree.

This week my fiance and I are meeting with a wedding planner that, hopefully, will be the answer to my “how does one plan a wedding?” question. I can’t wait until the long weekend… Or my vacations.

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Starting…again

So, every so often I get this hankering to start a blog. I am awful at keeping consistent with blogs and I even suck at managing a journal for longer than a month. I think this is because I often have dreams of it becoming something more than a page of me talking about the happenings of my life and interests. This dream is something that has to be worked towards, not something that just happens overnight.

My previous blogs had been about beauty products with some inserts about who I am. I think that if I am to benefit from this blog, or get anything at all out of it, I have to be more honest and open about everything. My life, my interests, and things that I can share with the world. I think I also have to start this without any expectations. No checking to see how many people stumble on my blog, or waiting for some random success story. This is just for me, and for those of you who want to take part in it.

This blog will have journal posts, posts about beauty products I try and feel the need to speak about (because makeup and skincare is probably one of my top five passions), posts about relationships, and a no filter look into my life.

Ready… let’s begin.

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