The honest truth

How do I begin…

Well… I am an Korean-American woman in her early twenties. I am a graduate student, working towards a Master’s degree. I am engaged to an amazing man who I could never imagine living without. I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have severe depression, anxiety, panic disorder, and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

I like morbid and macabre things. I like pretty things. I love makeup and skincare and could probably talk about it for hours. The process of putting on makeup or taking care of my skin soothes me and I am always looking for new things to try and new favorites. I like to read fantasy novels and listen to podcasts. I love animals. I am ambitious and driven but I understand the realities of who I am.

My world isn’t tinted with rose-colored glass but rather the smokey grey tendrils of a candle blown out in the night under London’s grey sky.

 

Knowing all this, let me share with you things on my plate. I am trying to plan an engagement party and a wedding while also preparing to move to Portland, Oregon in the next few months. I would say that I have things under control but I’d be lying and my frantic squid flails would be the proof of that. How does anyone get anything done?

I stare at a million items on my to-do lists and just am exhausted from even imagining all the work that needs to be done. On top of that I am doing my master’s degree.

This week my fiance and I are meeting with a wedding planner that, hopefully, will be the answer to my “how does one plan a wedding?” question. I can’t wait until the long weekend… Or my vacations.

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